Is guilt free detachment possible?

Can you detach from your drinker without feeling guilty and that you are betraying or abandoning your drinker? Does even the thought of detachment make you feel uncomfortable?

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Is forgiveness just permission to drink again?

One of the issues that can hinder people forgiving someone that they feel has wronged them is the fear that they are just saying that "it was ok to hurt me" and that the wrong may be repeated. In this video we discuss some of the delicate issues that surround forgiveness in a relationship where … Read More >

Journey out of Secrecy

Secrecy is very often a feature of families when there is a problem drinker in the family.  The family often closes ranks because of the stigma and shame associated with alcoholism in the mistaken impression that they are protecting, or being loyal to, their drinker.

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Motivated to Change

A member recently asked what produces motivation to change?  We thought that that was such a good question

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Resentment and Forgiveness

This is a huge and a difficult topic.  However it is one that we feel is so important that we have actually recorded two videos about the topic. The first video is from a professional point of view, what therapists would say to you and what the research shows.  The second video is from a … Read More >

What does Progress look like?

Sometimes, well actually OFTEN, when you live with an alcoholic nothing you try seems to have any effect.  Regardless what you do everything continues as bad as ever. In this video we start to look at how you might change this perception and how you just may be able to detect signs of change. Read More >

Scapegoating and Blame

These two videos were prompted by comments and questions from you as members.  When we can, we try to address the issues you raise.  Apart from anything else it means that we don't need to wrack our brains for topics and we can be , reasonably, sure that we are talking about something that affects … Read More >

Surviving Life with a Drinker

This week’s videos are a continuation of last week’s theme of empowerment, although the title (Surviving Life with a Drinker) is not quite as grand

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Self Pity and Empowerment

This week we have two contrasting videos one on Self Pity and the other on Empowerment

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Letting Go

three short videos, all on the theme of Letting Go.  Although it is natural to focus on the drinker, how much they are drinking, how often, when they will come home, what state will they be in, etc, unfortunately it doesn’t help.  It doesn’t help the situation, if you focus more on the drinker and the drinking, it does not change it one bit.  It also doesn’t help you either.

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