5 Replies to “What does Progress look like?”

  1. John if your wife hadn’t left you, would you have ever quit? My sister lives with an alcoholic and she has a life of hell, no kids, thank God. Our father was an alcoholic. I just got out of a relationship with an alcoholic. I couldn’t live with him, and he wouldn’t continue relationship unless I lived in it. So that was it. Are most drinkers inflexible when it comes to what a relationship looks like because basically they are lonely and want someone to live with. My sister has gone back 6 times and her physical health is terrible. Thank you Lou that message was for me. I have never heard anyone say stay, it is definitely not an atmosphere for children, I know from experience.

  2. Lou and John thanks for just being honest and saying it how it is – no airs and graces. Because lets face it living with a drinker can be very shit. In response to another comment- I wouldnt expect anyone to say STAY if they knew what goes on. But its not that easy to just leave. Well not for me. I am not the main earner- I have elderly parents no relatives with spare rooms. Believe it or not my children love their dad despite his drinking. They go to good schools. I have to look at the bigger picture- So since finding Bottled Up I will try and have tried the advise and there has been progress. Also yes -I do love my drinker I dont always like him though.

  3. Thanks for this , amongst all the chaos I can see progress and am now finally able to see our relationship for what it is ,not what it was or what I want it to be . There is still a lot of work to do – but I am now in the boat it’s rocky but I no longer feel as if I’m drowning .

  4. This has been very helpful, setting these small benchmarks for progress, rather than seeing it as a zero-sum game. It also helps me to see how my own perfectionism (my issue I try to function with) impacts how I feel about what my marriage is or should be.

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