A member recently asked what produces motivation to change? We thought that that was such a good question we should record a video to answer it. Although we are almost certain that the question was about motivation to change in the drinker, we thought the question was relevant to family members too.
So, in the spirit of completeness, we recorded two videos, one from each viewpoint. First the video from the drinker’s viewpoint.
And now a video looking at the family point of view.
Thank you for this message. I’ve recently joined and like your approach. I attended several AlAnon meetings which were helpful but, as a humanist, I found their approach very uncomfortable. I also struggled with the suggestion that there is nothing we can do to try and motivate change in our drinker – and, as you say in your video, in ourselves.
These are very interesting presentations. My worry is now that I have joined in the evening drinking. I’m trying, not very successfully, to stop this. Very hard to know how to get out of this habit.
Hi Lou & John. I’m a new subscriber and have found your approach refreshing! As a wife coping with an alcoholic partner of many years, I have been frustrated with the lack of support for families. I have been holding things together for 15 + years and am immensely proud of my 3 adult children for their strength and support but of course the nature of the beast will out and it takes it’s toll on us all! My question to you both- how do you cope with the roller coaster? Mood swings and behavioural ups and downs is what exhausts you! My partner is trying to recover after formally being diagnosed with decompensated cirrhosis in March. Has fallen heavily off the wagon twice and whilst we try to support the positive behaviours, we don’t have much juice left in the tank. X Thank you for your honest and gracious support.
Thank you so much Lou and John for addressing this subject. I listen to your videos more than once to make sure I get absolutely every little gold nugget of information, and today there were plenty! It all made sense, and thank you John for explaining that the motivitation to change came from you, not what the medics told you. I wonder if there any links between depression and alcoholism? In the meantime, I will carry on thinking about calling out the nice person inside the drinker in my family, as you suggested, and thinking of carrots and not sticks! Thank you both again for your amazing insight into such a difficult area of life.
So helpful, thank you both so much for ur candid stories, experiences, and insights. Invaluable and incredibly comforting too.