This page contains a small selection of the comments that members have made about Bottled Up.  Some have given a name most have not, and so are just entitled Member.  This is not an attempt to deceive.  As you will know confidentiality is very important to people who live with an alcoholic and we have honoured any wishes to retain their confidentiality by remaining anonymous.

Saved our relationship

Your Bottled Up site has helped me so much in the past and I continue to use What people say about Bottled Upyour suggested strategies and read your emails.  In fact, I have gained so much help, that after many years, my partner has changed his drinking habits, which has ultimately saved our relationship.

I would absolutely recommend it to anyone I knew who was trying to deal with alcohol problems in their relationship.

JT  2017

Life has become better, more manageable

I joined Bottled-up looking for solutions, ideas and coping skills to cope with living with a problem drinker in my case my husband. I have allowed his drinking let my life become unmanageable both for myself, my children and even my husband.

Bottled-up helps in a lot of ways from the information provided, sharing in the discussion forum (my favourite) and audios provided by John and Lou. All these tools,advice and comments from John and Lou help when living with a problem drinker.

When I stopped blaming the drinking for my unhappiness and started letting go of MY ANGER towards my husband’s drinking things began to change slowly for me.

I started to recover from the effects drinking has had on me. I do not feel sorry for myself anymore. Since arming myself with all this information, the dipping in and out of the discussion forum, life has become better, more manageable for me.

I am extremely grateful and consider myself lucky to have found this wonderful site. Life can only get better no matter what the outcome, I now know that I can handle it.

Dee Dee, Ireland

Great name

Thank you so much for coming up with a wonderful name (in itself a major help) and for providing an alternative to AA for those of us who have no interest in following steps, doctrines or moulds.

Member of Bottled Up

Won’t feel so isolated

I have found support through bottled up to enable me to address a situation with my husband that seemed to be spiralling out of control and I was feeling desperate. The information has given me the confidence to address the situation that I thought I was dealing with. I have found that things have improved since taking your advice and my husband is addressing his drinking. Hopefully things will continue to improve but if there is a stumbling block I know that I have the support I need and wont feel so isolated and angry.

Member of Bottled Up

Given me tools

This website has given me tools to deal with daily situations that arise when living with a problem drinker. It has helped me to improve my life instead of trying to change the drinker. I feel supported when I need to vent about the horrible situations one must endure when living with a problem drinker.

Member of Bottled Up

A more meaningful dialogue with my partner

I have found Bottled-Up to be of great help in changing my own behaviour – I realised that if I simply kept on repeating nagging, arguing, threatening et, I would just repeat the same cycle as before.  By staying calm and applying the principles I read about I have managed to open a more meaningful dialogue with my partner, and she has sought out therapy on her own.

I don’t expect everything to be solved now, but my life – and hers – have certainly taken a big step forward.

Member of Bottled Up

Given me an avenue of release

I found Bottled Up by accident one night, while browsing the net and after a couple of nights of reading (and liking) the philosophy in it and behind it, I decided to become a member. Without a doubt it has helped me put things in perspective, has helped me re-evaluate my situation, has given me an avenue of release when I needed to tell someone what I was going through, but had no-one I could tell. It has allowed me to stand back from an all-consuming situation and realise that there are many others out there going through the same situation – and sometimes worse, but able to talk about it openly and frankly and get support from others who understand.

I like the techniques described in Bottled Up… they were not the panacea for all things wrong in my life – but they were the starting point I needed – I was drowning in a whirlpool of shame and secrecy, going around in endless circles of blame, guilt, threats, hope and despair – and taking time out to sit down and work through HOPE, SHARE, LOVE helped me to focus away from the problem and start focusing on what I could take control of; It changed my attitude to our relationship – and slowly, it’s having an impact on both of us – for the better. Taking that first step to open up and let some of the hurt and anger spill out in a safe and anonymous environment, lifted one of the clouds that was over me. thank you.

– P. Ireland