Living with a drinker – Why can’t we agree?

You are living in the same house, you are seeing the same issues and consequences, and YET!!  When you talk about the drinking, the problems, the solutions it feels like you. not only don't live in the same house, in fact you live on different planets.  How can this possibly happen?? In this video about … Read More >

Things I wish I had known about problem drinking during my marriage

In this video Lou talks about her marriage to a drinker. Would she have changed how she had approached him, how she had discussed things with the children - almost certainly! Hear what she would have changed and why in this candid video. To watch the other videos in this series follow the links below. … Read More >

Things I wish I had known at the beginning of my relationship

Continuing with the series of - Things I know now that wish I had known ...., Lou talks about the beginning of her relationship.  What would she have done differently, would she still have got married or what would she have changed.  Find out by watching this video. To watch the other videos in this … Read More >

Am I just making a fuss

Very often partners of alcoholics will feel that they are ‘just making a fuss’ if they criticise their drinker’s behaviour. There are a couple of reasons for this feeling, an obvious one being the drinker will tell them that.

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I’m Listening

This is the second video in this short series about 1 to 1 with John.  In the series Lou interviews John about his sessions and asks him about the most common issues that arise. In this video John discusses the most common issue of all, that people just need to talk, to share what is … Read More >

Why Ultimatums Don’t Work

Reached breaking point again with your alcoholic and ready to give the ultimatum, DON’T- here’s why, Stop drinking or else …  This is a phrase that has been, and continues to be, repeated in millions of households throughout the world. 

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New Year, New Opportunities

This video is slightly different from our usual, a bit more personal rather than informational.  In it we talk about two topics, our website Beauty For Ashes and the Chain of Care.

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HOPE – Promote Change

Promote Change In this part of the cycle you will start to promote change. The direct goal of the change is NOT to get him/her to stop drinking, or even to cut down their drinking.  However, it is entirely possible that these may be the indirect effects of your actions.

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learned helplessness

Today’s topic s learned helplessness. This is a quote from Medical News Today.  Learned helplessness is a state that occurs after a person has experienced a stressful situation repeatedly.  They come to believe that they are unable to control or change the Situation so they do not try, even when opportunities for change become available. … Read More >

HOPE Survey the Options

Survey the Options For any problem there are a number of possible options that can be applied. The option chosen generally depends on a number of factors. It would obviously depend on the nature of the problem, the severity of the problem, the urgency for a resolution, what you are capable of doing and what … Read More >

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