Blog – Bottled Up

HOPE – Assess the Harm

Assess The Harm Possibly you don’t think that you need to do an assessment of the harm that alcohol is doing in your life. After all, you have lived with it and it has caused severe disruption, heartache and pain in your home. and you know the problems only too well. We would certainly not suggest …

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Surviving the Holidays

Its holiday time again. For all our american cousins Thanksgiving happens next week and for all of us Christmas is almost upon us. Although, it actually feels that preparations for Christmas started during the summer holidays. For some people the holidays are a time for family, for celebration, for happiness. Unfortunately for others it is …

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HOPE

HOPE HOPE is an acronym (a word made up from the initial letters of other words). However it was not an acronym that was chosen at random, quite the reverse. It was an acronym that was chosen to encapsulate the message that Bottled-up aims to spread. There is hope in drinking relationships, it does not …

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When You Feel that Hope is Slipping Away

Sometimes we feel that there is no hope that its not worth going on. If you are feeling that way, then this video is for you. In the video we discuss various aspects surrounding hope and some ways that we can build hope and sometimes that we need to view it in a different way. …

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LOVE – Healthy Boundaries

In this video Lou talks about LOVE and setting boundaries. In Bottled Up we encourage a positive approach to the drinking situation - this is probably most represented in our tools, especially LOVE. There is, however, more scope than we realised for misunderstanding, that we are promoting a "grin and bear it" attitude to the …

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Positivity and Pragmatism

In a previous video blog post when we discussed the components of LOVE, we talked about Valuing the drinker. Unfortunately that video seemed to provoke a bit of controversy. Some people liked what we said, some were a bit less sure and a couple were upset by it. We can honestly say that the last …

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E is for Encourage change

E is for Encourage change. Anyone changing any behaviour needs encouragement and affirmation. Drinkers are no different in that respect. Giving encouragement also helps you to feel part of that change, that it is a team thing, rather than something that s/he is struggling with alone.
OK, we can just hear that protests, but they are still drinking, so what’s to encourage!? Over the last few decades we have come to regard change as all or nothing, especially in drinking. The disease model of alcoholism tends to promote that attitude.

If we adopt that criteria for change – drinking vs not drinking – then many will be disappointed as it does not always happen like that. Sometimes changes can be small, like drinking less or less often or respecting a boundary that you have agreed, or agreeing to look for .help.
Recognising these small changes and affirming them can help to produce more and bigger changes. It can also help you by increasing your sense of hope.

V is for valuing your drinker

V is for valuing your drinker. It is all too easy to forget your drinker’s good points, the things that attracted you in the first place. Hardly surprising, if s/he is drinking excessively and become undependable and lies about the drinking, it is difficult to have positive feelings towards them.
If your feelings are becoming increasingly negative (again, not surprising) then they can leak out, or even just become the way that you communicate with them. If that is the case then, unknowingly, you may be exacerbating the problem, both for the drinker and for yourself.
In this video we explore how you might start to reverse this process and feel better about your drinker, and about yourself.

O is for Optimise your time when they are sober

O is for optimising your time when they are sober. There is a great temptation to ‘punish’ the drinker in some way when the alcohol has worn off. The ‘punishment’ may take a number of forms, eg the silent treatment or picking a fight.
These are very natural reactions to the heavy drinking that has preceded the period of sobriety. However, regardless of how justified those reactions may be, they are unlikely to result in any positive change. In fact, in many cases it may exacerbate the drinking instead.
In this video we discuss another approach. The rationale behind this approach is both short term peace and a demonstration that there is life after alcohol.

L is for letting the negatives happen

L is for letting the negatives happen. When an alcoholic drinks, negative things happen, the may get into arguments or fights, they may have an accident, they may fall asleep on the couch and never get to bed. There can be many negative outcomes.

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