Category: Family and Alcoholism

O is for optimising your time when they are sober. There is a great temptation to ‘punish’ the drinker in some way when the alcohol has worn off. The ‘punishment’ may take a number of forms, eg the silent treatment or picking a fight.
These are very natural reactions to the heavy drinking that has preceded the period of sobriety. However, regardless of how justified those reactions may be, they are unlikely to result in any positive change. In fact, in many cases it may exacerbate the drinking instead.
In this video we discuss another approach. The rationale behind this approach is both short term peace and a demonstration that there is life after alcohol.

Read More >

L is for letting the negatives happen. When an alcoholic drinks, negative things happen, the may get into arguments or fights, they may have an accident, they may fall asleep on the couch and never get to bed. There can be many negative outcomes.

Read More >

LOVE is one of the powerful tools that are exclusive to Bottled Up. It was created to provide some guidelines on how to live with an alcoholic in a way that was positive and therapeutic.

Read More >

Can you detach from your drinker without feeling guilty and that you are betraying or abandoning your drinker? Does even the thought of detachment make you feel uncomfortable?

Read More >

One of the issues that can hinder people forgiving someone that they feel has wronged them is the fear that they are just saying that "it was ok to hurt me" and that the wrong may be repeated. In this video we discuss some of the delicate issues that surround forgiveness in a relationship where …

Continue reading "Is forgiveness just permission to drink again?"

Read More >

Secrecy is very often a feature of families when there is a problem drinker in the family.  The family often closes ranks because of the stigma and shame associated with alcoholism in the mistaken impression that they are protecting, or being loyal to, their drinker.

Read More >

There is no doubt that the way you view a problem, not just a drinking problem, will inform how you deal with the problem.

Read More >

This is a huge and a difficult topic.  However it is one that we feel is so important that we have actually recorded two videos about the topic. The first video is from a professional point of view, what therapists would say to you and what the research shows.  The second video is from a …

Continue reading "Resentment and Forgiveness"

Read More >

Sometimes, well actually OFTEN, when you live with an alcoholic nothing you try seems to have any effect.  Regardless what you do everything continues as bad as ever. In this video we start to look at how you might change this perception and how you just may be able to detect signs of change. Read More >

These two videos were prompted by comments and questions from you as members.  When we can, we try to address the issues you raise.  Apart from anything else it means that we don't need to wrack our brains for topics and we can be , reasonably, sure that we are talking about something that affects …

Continue reading "Scapegoating and Blame"

Read More >