There are many things that people who live with a drinker tend to do that do not help their situation. Most of these behaviours are well meaning and are just the normal way that families act and react with the people that they care about.
In this, and the next, post we want to talk about some of these behaviours and how they can be counterproductive to change.
I used to make excuses and cover it up….I now speak up of there is an issue….I may say something like “He has a problem with alcohol, so please don’t offer him a drink”…Now, what do you do about a family member who feels they should enable and do so right in front of you? Sadly, my mother will ask hubby if he’d like a beer the moment we walk in the door…I’ve asked her to please not do so and she responds with, “Oh yeah, I forgot” but does it again the next time… It’s almost like she wants him to like her and knows how to do it. I hate to say my mom is causing a problem, but my mom is causing a problem. ughh. Life.
What happens if you live with a drinker is, you are walking on eggshells trying to say and do all the right things so they will choose your way instead of their way. Your mother is probably just doing what she does to anyone that comes in your door. Expecting people to change their behaviour around drinking is a bit much especially in their own home. The entire exercise is futile anyway, “the drink will always win” ok, repeat “the drink will always win. You can try and move mountains to prevent that, but you are kidding yourself. So instead of trying to “change the world” around the drinker, change yourself, thats easier, leave now so you can have a life and your children if you have any can too. You are fighting a losing battle. A life with a drinker i is no life. Let them have the bottle, its his first and only love anyway.
There is a niece and nephew that are big drinkers also, so I know when they’re around, it’s going to cause issues….Christmas eve will be an issue, but if/when it gets bad, I have Lyft on my phone and will leave. If taken to removing myself or not being around at all.