4 Replies to “Threats and Promises 2”

  1. I would never choose to stay with someone that drinks? What is the upside, especially for kids? Nothing. I am so grateful my mother left my alcoholic father. He married 4 times after her and died of alcoholism I am glad my mother didn’t want us to experience his “slow walk to the grave” and wanted a better future for us.

    1. I understand not understanding, because I would have said the same….In my situation, hubby supports us financially. I cannot go it alone at this time since I am caring for family members. I feel he knows it and isn’t concerned by my threats to leave. I was always independent when younger, but things are different now. My sister just told me yesterday to leave him. There is more to it than just walking away, or I would. I’m 60 and starting over isn’t going to be easy so I go about my business by keeping as busy as possible and ignore it when I have to. Ugh. No way to live.

  2. One thing we established a few years ago was that he wouldn’t drink in front of me. I wasn’t expecting it to make him drink less, but it was stressful for me to see him drink, and I would have been counting drinks. I didn’t want to do that because it would have been EVEN MORE stressful for me and annoying for him. We also recently established that if I felt he was inebriated I wouldn’t spend that time with him–that it was not a punishment or a judgment, just me protecting myself from the stress of seeing him that way. Although he still drinks, he doesn’t get drunk any more. He is getting counselling and taking medication to help him get off the alcohol.

  3. I’ve set boundaries. I don’t subject myself to his drinking. I used to go out with him, take vacations with him and his kids. I’ve stopped because it was just too stressful for me. Now he goes with his kids and they’ll drink with him. I’ve told him why I don’t go and told his kids. This helps me take better care of myself just as you said in this video.

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