If you have been browsing around the subjects of alcoholism, dependent drinking, problem drinking, for any length of time, you will probably have found a lot of conflicting information. Unfortunately there is a lot of confusion, and /or fiercely held opinions in this topic. This does not help you in your search for a bit of hope, or info that you can trust.
For this reason we have decided to start a new series of videos that we are calling – Clarification – really catchy isn’t it ;-). All we are trying to do is to to give you some straightforward information that you can trust. Information based on science and experience, not on opinion or the latest conspiracy theory.
The first of this series of short videos is an introduction to the series and our goal in recording it. The second, the first actual video of the series, is around the topic of Boundaries and Threats, an area that many people seem to have difficulty disentangling.
If you have any suggestions about other areas or topics that you would like us to talk about, please contact us and let us know.
Lou and John, I cannot thank you enough for the time, thoughts and efforts you put into communicating as much information as possible to help others.
My close friend of many years is a drinker and you guys just make sense!
I’m truly grateful to you both.
My drinker hates ultimatums it really does make things worse but also I have the added problem that if I try to set a boundary or try to discuss and talk to him about it sober – this also upsets him. He goes quiet wont aknowledge what I have said/suggested “Ostrich” and ” Sand” always spring to mind. Yes we have made small progress with me trying out some of the suggestions but again its the non drinker that always seems to have make the change/move.. My partner was not invited to a work get together – yes it hurt his feelings- it triggered a home binge. This time I left all the shit for him to see and clear up.
It’s just too much work, especially if you are raising kids, they don’t need to grow up in that atmosphere, walking on eggshells, never knowing when the drinker will blow. I grew up in alcoholic home and have long term anxiety and depression problems because of it. Just left an alcoholic after living with him for a year, too many triggers for me. I could survive in a relationship with him for five years, but he wanted someone to be in his bed at night, after he spent the evening passed out in the chair, not a life I envisioned for myself I left after an alcoholic rage. I would say I was not going to be his psychologist, nurse etc. too many other good men out there. Life is short and a one time experience, get the best life you can.
I have to take this to heart. I often mumble to myself “I don’t deserve this!” Now I have to learn to live it, not just mumble it!