In these two short videos we look at secrecy. Secrecy is a natural behaviour because of the shame and stigma attached to problem drinking, no one wants the world, or even close friends and relatives to know about the problems drinking is causing in their family. Also you may feel that to tell others would be betraying your drinker,
However, there are, at least 2 major reasons why you need to look at how secret you are keeping the alcohol problems in your household. One is that addiction thrives in secrecy. That means there is little motivation to change a behaviour that few people know about. Second, keeping the issue secret means that you do not seek out the help and support that could be provided by your close friends and relations.
However, there are also obvious dangers to telling too many people.
How true you become isolated from friends and family keeping the drinking secret. How many invites have I turned down over the years – I look back and think I could have gone I could have had a good time and the resentment and anger come in waves.. I have opened up to my sister who just listened and never judged which was good.
Lou how do you keep responding when you know your drinker is driving? This aspect is the one I fine SO HARD. Its not just me and my family it can affect god forbid if something happened.
I guess during a pandemic and all the liquor and beer stores had to be left open did I realize what a worldwide problem alcoholism is. Its really put a spotlight on the problem and I now know why alcohol is the worst drug the government could have made legal. The generational suffering is unmeasurable and yet the “beat goes on” while lives are ruined.
The Donate button at the bottom of the page asks for payment in US $. Should this not be UK £ ?
Thanks to you and a couple of others for pointing this out. I have finally changed it. Yeah!!
“Detach from the drinking not the drinker”. Thanks John. Great advice.
Great discussion and so very true. I would love to see a video on what to do if your drinker has relapsed. 7 months sober and over this weekend it was all back. The deception is the thing that absolutely breaks my heart. I was out for the afternoon and he even turned off our cctv to hide what he was doing although I didn’t realise this until after I returned home. I’m hurting physically almost. He’s done so well and now this!