Self Pity and Empowerment

This week we have two contrasting videos one on Self Pity and the other on Empowerment.  If we are honest, all of us are prone to self pity on occasion, some would, justifiably, argue that there was plenty of cause for the self pity and it wasn’t really self pity, just an accurate assessment of the situation.  While there may, or may not, be some or even a lot of, truth in that view, unfortunately it is unhelpful to yourself or to change in your drinker,

The second video discusses Empowerment, a consistent theme of Bottled Up.  At all times in this website we try to take a pragmatic approach, rather than a moralistic or emotional one as the former gives you scope to change your situation whereas the latter feeds your feelings of injustice and self pity.

Self-pity is a thief and a con man. You will see it in your problem drinker as he uses it as justification to drown his sorrows. You will find it in you, trying to undermine that part that is working towards positive change.

Don’t focus on what your problem drinker won’t do; focus on the things you CAN do. Focusing on your inability to change her habits will leave you feeling helpless and disempowered. Changing the way you do things will automatically begin to change your situation for good.

If you have found these videos helpful, leave a comment below.

11 Replies to “Self Pity and Empowerment”

  1. Hi i love your short videos! They are so helpful thankyou. Yes self pity is huge. Especially bitterness and unforgiveness. Perhaps you could do a video on that? I would really appreciate it. Part of the excuse for drinking is having a horrible father and why does he have one and nobody else having one too matters. Childhood issues are huge perhaps you could make a video on that too

    1. Thank you for your suggestions for topics, we really appreciate them and we will probably record videos on some of these topics some time soon.

      1. I love these shorts. It would be good to have something on how to cope with ex drinkers. My partner stopped many years ago now but his personality has changed a lot which is understandable. It’s just hard to deal with and some input on how people can or do change after they stop drinking.


        1. Yes I love the short videos too thank you both so much .
          Like Marie I also live with an ex drinker (my son) .
          He’s. Just been sober 18 months and I worry that my over watchful behaviour annoys him . Things to watch for and hints on letting go ,always that fear of driving him back to drink .
          Thank you
          Etta .

  2. I prefer the long videos… I find them such a comfort.
    But thank you for all information whether long or short. Please keep going.

  3. Really helpful. Thank you both for reaching out, sharing your considered thoughts, encouragement and helpful insight. I like the short module presentation. Less can be more. Great job!

  4. After a particular bad day I watched your short videos for the first time and would just like to say how much I related to them. My husband has been really trying and had a good week of staying sober but today he has reverted back to his old ways and has made me feel guilty and that is is all my fault once again!!

  5. The short videos are great. Such helpful topics and reminders. Just so hard to put things into practice in reality!

  6. In answer to your question, yes, I love the short videos! I can live with these bite-sized words of wisdom for a few days, chew them over, and they stay in my head. Thanks for being there – it’s really appreciated.

  7. I have really liked the short videos. I have been watching and catching up as not long joined Bottled Up. I think I do need to change my thinking and be positive. Tonight i knew my partner had stopped off for a drink before he came home. Instead of starting on him I took a deep breath and just asked about his day. He even sat with me and asked for a cup of tea. He even rubbed my feet and is now helping our son with his first shave. Small steps but I feel good tonight..

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