A really burning question for people that come to the bottled up family side is – “Is my husband or partner or father or child an alcoholic?”
This is probably the question that we are asked most. We have covered it before in other ways, but in this one we discuss the term alcoholic and other ways of looking at alcohol problems. There is no doubt that the way you view a problem, not just a drinking problem, will inform how you deal with the problem.
First of all let’s talk about the term alcohol. Do people use that term anymore? Well yes, they do and they don’t. The professionals tend to not use the term so much these days. Except you kind of know when you look at alcohol agencies or rehabs, if they’re using the term alcoholic, they’re probably coming from the 12-step philosophy. The others tend to use terms such as problem drinking and dependence.
Thank you for your video. You hit it on the nail. I was always an active person, in shape, and healthy, but the stress of this has definitely taken a toll on my health. The stress put on those living with it is enormous.
I dont think I actually needed confirmation- drink was causing problems in all areas. Re the SHARE aspect Lou and John talk about.
Just some sort of help and ways to make life easier and to know Im not the only one living this sometimes caotic- sad – lonely life. With the ACT- meaning the one I put on for family and friends. I have tried the tips Lou and John gave in Bottled Up Wisdom and yes there have been some small little wins. One being I now step back bite my tongue – still SO HARD and have started to live MY life and be the person I want to be and stop dancing to the drinkers tune. KDKA I really hope things are improving for you especially your health and we aint even the ones posioning our mind body and soul.
Good advice Kim…to bite my tongue..I do try, and many times I have to walk away…only to find out the next day there is no memory of it anyhow on his part. Such a waste of life, as I see it. It’s a 7 day a week routine around here. Hubby has this victim mentality and there is nothing that will change his stubborn thinking. I am glad you are getting some peace of mind and I hope you continue to stay strong. Thank you.
I fully understand what you are saying. I dread my house form 4:30 pm on as I never know how the evening is going to work out and biting my tongue and keeping quiet is very hard. And as you said he gets up the next day with no memory of what happened the night before and continues on his day. In the meantime I remember every action and word said and it continues to play on me. I need to as everyone says look after myself, walk away or do something good for me. or the stress is going to kill me. I am so thankful for this group as it helps me makes some sense and be able to deal with things. I sympathize with everyone who is in the same boat as I am.