Assess The Harm
Possibly you don’t think that you need to do an assessment of the harm that alcohol is doing in your life. After all, you have lived with it and it has caused severe disruption, heartache and pain in your home. and you know the problems only too well. We would certainly not suggest that you are unaware of the problems however we would argue that you DO need to make an assessment.
The process of HOPE requires you to carry out a systematic assessment, that is to look at the problems in a structured and unemotional way. That assessment will lead to an array of options about how you deal with the issue. To carry out the assessment we will introduce you to the tool that will help you focus on all aspects of your life. That tool is SHARE and we lead you through its use in the member’s area of the website.
2 Replies to “HOPE – Assess the Harm”
Happy Thanksgiving. I have made an assessment and realize I am the only one invested in this relationship..or was…I am also very aware now that I need to get my life back, as you have mentioned…I am doing small things, but it feels good to distance myself. This past year I took a vacation to the other side of the US. It was great- and I hate to say..I did not miss my husband. I knew while I was gone he was completely wasted and felt like a kid doing something bad but getting away with it. This is an immature man on one level, who can’t get his head out of the self pity mode and the teenage thinking of over indulgence and poor judgement calls and there is nothing I can do to get into his head and direct him differently. He has decided there is nothing wrong and he isn’t making any changes. I like what you said about it not being how much you drink, but what it makes you when you drink. There are times when he tells me he is “being good..that means he is drinking less on a particular night, thinking he can hide the effects. I would like to know this…even if he is drinking less, why does he get so out there? Is it true that the alcohol stays in the body and when you drink daily you don’t need as much to get drunk? I can’t figure it out, (if he really IS drinking less, why is he so drunk?) The blackouts are unreal…not passing out, but never remembering a thing from the night before..how can that be only from “a few drinks?” Is he lying or does his body hold alcohol from each day before?
Thanks for the video. This is where I’m at just now in my situation so it helps to see your video. My drinker friend wants to walk out on me because I’m letting him know how much his aggression is affecting my life and he says I am lying and making it up and painting him in a bad light. Is it better to say nothing to him and slowly make the changes and see if it changes his situ too?