Hi Angela, Y
Thanks for sharing your story and I do empathise with you. It is so frustrating and upsetting to watch someone you love and care for letting their life drift on without them being truly in it.
I found myself in a very similar situation to yourself, only difference being I was retired and he was not. His drinking was so bad at the weekends that I let so many joint activities/events slip pass as it wasn’t worth the effort and another failure was too painful to take.
After many depressing months I woke up one day and made a conscious effort to regain my sense of self. I decided I wasn’t going to WAIT for him so that I could enjoy my life. I took control of me. I got my hair done every Friday. I met friends for coffee. I went to the Cinema alone or with a friend if they were available. Nature parks were a big favourite. I took up Dancercise ( best fun ever). I learnt to find fun and laughter in the small things in life.
All the time I told him that I loved him and wanted to share my life with sober him. I cooked us nice dinners but left the room after eating if he was drunk. I took long hot baths and listened to soothing music. I also did a daily short meditation ( loads on YouTube) and I was totally honest with my friends and family about his drinking.
No one judged me.
I’m sure you know this but I remind myself daily of the following.
You have not caused his drinking
You cannot control his drinking
and You cannot CURE his drinking
Through Loving Detachment you can live a more fulfilled life and hope that he will join there some day soon.
I wish you well. Trust in you.
“I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” _ William Allen White
Cora
